LDs, please don't hate me because I haven't posted since Monday. I've been busy all week, and WWW didn't happen because I was cleaning. We were having dinner guests on Thursday before darts, and I had to get some of this shiz around my house cleaned up.
I had prepared to shut the door to our bedroom.
Of course, Mr Realist gives them (friends; two bachelor guys) a tour of the house...including the messy master bedroom! ACK! They didn't even bat an eye (gotta love the bachelors).
Anyway, here's my news. I'm getting ready to hit the sack because we're getting up at 5.15 in the God-forsaken AM to go on a 20 minute walk (to start, of course).
Every day.
Five days a week.
Because we're participating in the Fat Ass 5K in May in Springfield (yes, that is the name of it). The monies raised will go to three different charities and there's a huge party afterwards.
Ya see, LDs, I've been watching my calories. Very rarely does it go above 2K or even 2200. Someone did tell me today that I looked like I have been losing weight, but I figure that's because of the hour and a half-long therapy that I do three days a week. Doc can't get mad at me for wanting to get better, can he?
Besides, I have to do something.
And I have a confession to make. Because a picture depressed me so much about my shape (yes, round is a shape, and it's only good for sports balls and doughnuts), I even contemplated bulimia.
Please do not judge and do not tell me I'm out of my mind. I said I contemplated it. I hate puking. I hate puking so much I'd rather be miserable for three days then to puke and get it over with in several hours (being drunk, for example).
So...we're beginning our walking tomorrow. I'll try to post something about it every day that we do it - how far we went, if we jogged any (good Lord, I need a decent sports bra that doesn't make Thelma and Louise wanna be close friends with my chin [yeah, they can touch...]. Any ideas? Gotta negate the bounce), and how I felt after.
Pray for me. I can't do this anymore, so I'm taking charge.
And I need my LDs help.
So, here's a before picture. I'll try to get a better one tomorrow, and I'll try to post an update once a week. Maybe I should take measurements as well.
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I've been fat...forever.
ReplyDeleteI've tried anorexic, bulimia, diet pills, illicit drugs...you name it. Stuff like that works...temporarily.
I'm still fat, but for the first time in a long time, I feel healthy, and I feel in control, and I feel like I might be able to get this weight off...the right way. Unfortunately, the right way sucks balls. Lots of hard work. Let's face it, I'm a fucking blogger...hard work is not my forte.
I think it is so brave of you to post all this and put it out there. I will support you every step of the way and I know you can do it, Steph!
Love you girl!
Good luck Steph!
ReplyDeleteJust don't overdo it, otherwise you may injure yourself again.
Once Lent is over, I'll be going back to running and calorie watching. Seems odd, but it was hard keeping track of calories and avoiding meat. Not sure why though.
Puking is no good. I hate it when I do it while sick, let alone making myself do it. Really isn't good for the throat. Just watch the calories, maybe if you can, try to cut them down a little. And eat lots of veggies! Veggies = fiber = hard to digest = burning more calories.
Plus you feel fuller :)
Good for you for getting active! I wholy support taking your measurements... and not just the usual ones (bust, waist, hips), but also your bicep, upper thigh and neck. You may have times where the scale doesn't show a loss, but you may have lost inches.
ReplyDeleteCheering you on!
K-
ReplyDeleteI was always a bigger girl...just not as big as I am now. Of course, I look back at high school pictures, and when I graduated HS, I was a size 10 (I looked like a damn Blow Pop - skinny body, ginormous head!). I just want to not feel so miserable. Put me at 180, and I'd be perfectly happy.
A-
That's why we're walking. I'm not up to the jogging yet, and I'm going to ask the therapist if he thinks it's safe to do so. I loves the veggies...now, to get Mr Realist to eat them.
Mrs G-
I forgot about the neck. Wonder if I should do round my head top to bottom to check on the second chin. :)
You guys are the best! *tear* ((hugs))
Hmm...I suppose the 'its good for you' speech wouldn't work on him?
ReplyDeleteAnd good thinking on asking the therapist!