Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Sometimes I Feel...

Good morning/afternoon, LDs. How are you on this fine January day?

I was just going through some of my old notes on Facebook, and I found a fun one from 2009. So here's a letter from me to Austin:

Dear Austin,
Our socks don't match. When I quoted Forrest Gump in your car, all you wanted to do was carve your initials into the elephant in the corner.

I'm open to the idea that you need a sex change (dude, your toe ring and your collection of butterflies kinda give it away). I will always remember the pep talks and telling you that you should stop picking your nose (but obviously it hasn't worked)

Best of luck on the sex change,


Heepwah, and be safe out there,

Ms D

Saturday, January 8, 2011

Naughty naughty...

I've recently been introduced to Ange. Omigod, is she ever funny!

And I think I totally buggered up the Cadbury post, but I don't care. Our Dollar General...

Has. Them. Now.
Mr Realist brought me one home on Tuesday. I love that man.

Anyway, this might be a dirty postie. No, scratch that. It WILL be a dirty postie.

Ange posted (on Hump Day, mind you) the Naughty List.

Names Will Not Be Changed To Protect The Innocent

While I'm also answering the questions Ange asked, I checked up on the blog before me, and the question was: If your husband, boyfriend, partner, mate, or significant other all of a sudden stopped getting you to that euphoric, climactic, happy moment (Ok... Orgasm, for those of you how don't get my wording) would you cheat on him/her, leave that person, or tell him/her that their not cutting the mustard anymore so you can start getting the goods again??

I'd tell Mr Realist (and I have before). Normally it's because we've gotten into a sex routine (same place, same position, same damn time of the week), and it's just not cutting it anymore. It helps. Gotta change it up, yos!

Now, I'm going to ask one of the one following me: Do you ever have to resort to thinking of something else while you're having sex just to get off?

The question Ange asked was: Do you share your deepest kept fantasies with your significant other? Are there any that you are too afraid to share?

Well, I have lots of fantasies, some of them even involving my husband! Mostly, they're kept inside my head. Gives me fodder for when I'm writing a particularly steamy scene. And getting it under a steamy hot shower spray (fantasy or real) just kind of makes me happy in the pants, if you know what I mean *lascivious nod* Maybe if I drop about 60 pounds, some of those fantasies might become reality.

But the question she was asked was: "What, if any, cartoon characters have you crushed on? Don't forget the naughty details!"

If you've read here any length of time, you'll know that I have a 300-ring circus for an imagination (and not because I say so).

So, out in the open air, for all of my readers to think I've gone completely around the bend, are my Top 5 cartoon fantasies (yeah, there's five. Wanna make something of it?)

5. Philip J Fry from Futurama. I have no idea why I think he's sexy. Maybe it's the hair - I have a thing for gingers. Maybe it's the fact that Leela constantly brushes him off. Maybe it's because he's 1000 years in the future and I feel sorry for him.

4. Jacuzzi Splot from Baccano! It's a anime that was only 16 episodes long. He's just...cute. And that's a tattoo on the side of his face so his wannabe-girlfriend Nice (pronounced Neece) wouldn't get made fun of for her scars.

2 & 3. Ryoga Hibiki and Ranma Saotome. Anime from Ranma 1/2. Ranma fell into an ancient spring, and hot water turns him into a girl. Ryoga fell into a similar spring, but he turns into a cute little pig. Ranma is engaged to Akane, says he doesn't love her (but he does); Ryoga is in love with Akane but has no idea how to tell her since she's engaged to Ranma, who happens to be his number one enemy. I think it might have to do with the skill of the artist. Ranma's in blue, Ryoga in gold.

1. (sigh) Dr. Ray Stantz from The Real Ghostbusters. Now, before you give me any grief, I think I actually fell in love with Dan Aykroyd in the original movie. He's just so...wow. So that, in turn, led to the cartoon series, and yet again, a ginger (he's more of an auburn, though). He's like a big kid, which means we fit perfectly together! :) He can PKE meter me any time. :)

A'right, a'right. There. Now you know for sure that your Dreamer has gone around the bend and should probably have a white comfy coat on right now.

However, in the immortal words of Frank Harris, Detective, Cool World PD: "'Noids do not have sex with doodles."

Oh, but to be a doodle...just for a while.

Heepwah, and be safe out there.

Ms D

Four Months

Just four months.

To the day.

That's all the longer she held on.

She missed her sister (so did we).

While we were out this evening, Bonnie Rat took her last breath.

She must have left minutes before we got home--she was still warm. I had to take her out of her cage. Mr Realist couldn't do it.

And it blows that the ground is frozen and snow-covered so we can't dig her a spot next to her sister until it thaws a bit. She's in a safe place for now.

I'd been calling her Bonnaroo for whatever reason, or 'roo for short. It was nice to have someone to say 'bye' to in the morning after Mr Realist had left, and someone to say 'hi' to being the first one home.

Mr Realist just asked if we were big dorks for being this upset. I told him no.

Because we're not. We know how to love.

Sleep well, 'roo. We'll see you at Rainbow Bridge with Sally. Give Whiskey hell for me, 'kay?

We'll miss you.

Ms D

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

40 of Me

Since this is my 200th postie, LDs, I'm totally stealing this from Aunt Becky (she rocks my sox right off of my feet). (she's not my real Aunt, but I totally think I've got a girl crush on her) If you're just joining us here in the Lair, prop your feet up, have a brew (your call; Callahan knows every drink in the book), and spell us a tale.

1. What did you do in 2010 that you'd never done before? Um, well...I don't rightly remember. Sue me (don't really...you won't get anything).

2. Did you keep your New Years' Resolutions and will you make more for this year? I did, and I didn't keep them. Boo.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth? Not close to me, but yes.

4. Did anyone close to you die? Not close, but yes.

5. What would you like to have in 2011 that you didn't have in 2010?

6. What countries did you visit? Norway. England. Ireland. Italy. O...wait...you mean actually going there? Nowhere.

7. What date from 2010 will be etched upon your memory and why?

8. What was your biggest achievment of the year?

9. What was your biggest failure? Not only not losing weight, but putting some on.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury? Severly strained my ACL last summer and had it diagnosed February of 2010.

11. What was the best thing you bought? Nothing, really.

12. Whose behaviour merited celebration? My own.

13. Whose behaviour made you appalled/depressed? Again, my own.

14. Where did most of your money go? Stupid shit.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? My birthday.

16. What song will always remind you of 2010? "Scolding Wife" by Great Big Sea

17. Compared to this time last year are you:
i. happier or sadder? bout the same

ii. fatter or thinner? fatter
iii. richer or poorer? poorer
(wow, 2010 fucking sucked)

18. What do you wish that you'd done more of? Worked out.

19. What do you wish you'd done less of? Ate.

20. How will you be spending Christmas (changing to birthday, yos)? Driving. We're headed to Phoenix and leaving on my birthday.

21. Why are you so damn sexy? (there wasn't a 21 originally; Bex put this one in) Because I am, bitches.

22. Did you fall in love? Every day.

23. Any one-night stands? Can I count the imaginary ones? If yes, 37. If no, zero.

24. What was your favourite TV program? Glee. I'm a total Gleek.

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate last year? not really

26. What was the best book that you read? The Shack

27. What was your greatest musical discovery? Great Big Sea and Gaelic Storm. Fucking amazing.

28. What did you want and get? Not much.

29. (where teh fack is 29??) Fack it.

30. What was your favorite film of 2010? Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, pt. 1.

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? Went to Fast Eddie's in Alton; I was Sweet Sixteen in 2010 (times two).

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasureably more satisfying? Losing weight. I think part of it stems from not actually playing softball this past summer.

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2010? Wear what you dig.

34. What kept you sane? My imagination.

35. What celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? I'm not going there :)

36. What political issue stirred you the most? not going there either :)

37. Who did you miss? My family.

38. Who was the best new person you met? I haven't met anyone new in a while. Boo again.

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson learned. Don't abuse animals. I might come egg your fucking face.

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
"But it was not your fault but mine/and it was your heart on the line/I really fucked it up this time/didn't I, my dear? didn't I, my dear." "Little Lion Man" Mumford and Sons.

Only time will tell how 2011 will shape up to be.

How's bout you?

Ms D
Heepwah, and be safe out there.

Holy Shiz...

LDs, I am SO SORRY for not posting in exactly a month today!!

I'm pretty sure it's because I'm depressed and am doubting my self-worth lately for a myriad of different reasons.

So, I'm not counting this as my 200th postie. I'll do a meme one.

In the meantime, please send up a prayer for me that I get out of this. It's not good.

Ms D

PS: Feelings of hatred and inadequacy are going to be at a different site - dreamerandrealist.wordpress.com (Yeah, I'm trying it out, and there are some doozies over there). There's one that I'm not sure of yet, and there might will be some very open posts over there. Read at your own peril. This blog is going to turn into more of a creative site. Whenever I get daydreams, I'll put them here.

It's 2011, LDs. Time for a change.
Be safe out there.