Like Kisha, I generally try to be a happy person, and I uber-hate confrontations. But sometimes rainbows and fucking glitter have to take a backseat to fire and brimstone and the half-evil side of me coming out (Mr Realist thinks I need a 333 tattoo). It's why I'm
I'll tell you something, LDs. I got to see Lady Fuckin Gaga on Saturday night in the Loo. Free bitch did a fabu job of popping my cherry.
My concert cherry, that is.
Yes, your Ms Dreamer had NEVER been to a concert before. She was worth the monies spent on the ticket. And because Kate and I are nice people, we scored some free SWAG. Be jealous, LDs. I ruled the weekend.
"But why is this going in Bitch and Moan Monday, Ms D?" I'll tell you why, LDs.
Because people are fucking rude and inconsiderate and need to be hit in the head with a hammer.
First off, it's one thing if your mom wants to go see Lady Fuckin Gaga with you; more power if she's old and wrinkly and grey haired. You get infinite cool points for that.
But you get your infinite cool points yanked the fuck away and kicked in the cuzif (thanks, B) when you take your FIVE YEAR OLD DAUGHTER to the same. fucking. show.
*bangs head against desk* Are you serious? We were on the floor, standing room only, people pushing and shoving and grabbing asses and beers were a'plenty and you think it's a good idea to bring your five year old? Dude, go jump off a fucking bridge. You. Are. An. Idiot.
Especially when the opening act is Semi Precious Weapons and hottie Justin's (lead singer with the fuck-me custom Stuart Weitzman boots that I so got to touch...*squee*) first line is "I can't pay my rent, but I'm fucking gorgeous!" and it's loud as fuck, and even with the earplugs, she's holding her hands over her ears. You. Are. An. Idiot. And I don't care if parents who read this disagree with me. I would never never never take a five year old to a concert unless it was the fucking Wiggles.
In between SPW and Lady Fuckin Gaga, two skinny bitches (sorry if you are one; I'm a heavy-duty beauty, LDs) tried to worm their way up towards the front. Big girl #1 lit up like a siren:
"O hell no! You didn't come from up there, you're not getting in up there! You can go fucking stand in the back. We've all been here for three hours (note: it was more like an hour) and you can fuck off."
Skinny bitches: "But our friends are up there and we don't want to stand back here by ourselves."
BG#1: "you should have fucking thought about that before coming late. You want up there? You'd better go the fuck around and find some other dumb ass to let you in." (this went on for about two minutes. BG#1 was about to start raining down some big bitch fire when the security guard stepped over)
"What's going on?" BG#1 proceeded to let him know in no uncertain terms that the SBs were not cutting in front of her or anyone else around her (BG#2 and myself just smiled at the SBs like "Ain't no fuckin way."); BG#1's boyfriend/husband said they'd stepped on his feet and was pissed.
Security guard tells SBs to get back to the back; if they weren't there before, we didn't have to let them in.
It. Was. AWESOME!
After that, everything was golden. Had a blast, got $60 worth of free SWAG, and left happy, tired, and footsore.
So, I still need prayers. Haven't heard anything from the camp.
What's got you Bitching and Moaning? Some dumbass scuff your brand new shoes? Kidlets having night terrors? Or is your life just fucking peachy?
Let us know, LDs.
Eb, I'll get to 'dreamlets' either tomorrow or Friday.
Heepwah, and be safe out there.