Monday, June 28, 2010

Bitch and Moan Monday

Good evening, LDs. Everyone know what day it is?

It's Bitch and Moan Monday!

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Yay!

Like Kisha, I generally try to be a happy person, and I uber-hate confrontations. But sometimes rainbows and fucking glitter have to take a backseat to fire and brimstone and the half-evil side of me coming out (Mr Realist thinks I need a 333 tattoo). It's why I'm romantically involved with Kisha's B&M Monday. I save up some nuggets of brimstone and tongues of flame, and let them all go on Mondays. It's a perfect fucking day to bitch. Mondays suck most of the time.

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How many of you caught a cold over the winter? Normally, I get one big cold - snotty head, chest congestion, and on occasion, have had to go get enough antibiotics to kill a small, third-world country of all its disease. This past winter? Two small colds, nothing to shake a stick at.

LDs, any time this comes around, I can usually power through it - dope myself up on DayQuil and NyQuil (and it has to be the green-death fucking flavor; cherry makes me want to barf ropy goat chunks) and lozenges and ibuprofen and hot tea and chicken noodle soup with peanut butter sandwiches (don't knock it till you've tried it) and sweat the shit out at night.

But Mother Nature's got to be a fucking cunt this year and give it to me the end. of. June. right. before. July.

Mama, are you kidding me? I've been miserable since Thursday. Temperature running between 98 and 99. Before you tell me that's not possible, hear me out: my normal body temp when I'm perfectly healthy is a flat 96 degrees. I've not had a sickie temp over 100 since I was in college, and that almost ended me up in hospital. On the off hand, explain this one: my hands and feet rarely get cold. I've been known to walk out in 3+ inches of snow in flip flops. I am a space heater. It's why I have to get into bed first in the winter and why I could live in Alaska.

Anyway, back to Mama being a twathole. I think I've consumed a bottle of DayQuil, one of NyQuil, a bag of lozenges, enough tea to float me to England and ibuprofen to knock out the same third-world country from before. I just hope I'm feeling better and not so coughey tomorrow. Fuckin' Eclipse opens at midnight:01 tomorrow night, and I gots my ticketses!

So, LDs, what's got you Bitching and Moaning on this OMFG-gorgeous Monday here in the Midwest? Step in dogpoo out in the yard? Youngest kid put the hose in the open windows of your car to 'cool it off, mama'? Or has your day gone beautifully (bitch)?

Let me know...let us all know.

Heepwah, and be safe out there.

Your coughey
Ms Dreamer

PS: if you've ever seen someone live/in a movie smoking pot, and after they've inhaled the smoke and they're holding it in their lungs and they get the snorty coughs because they don't want to cough or exhale yet? Yeah, it's how I just sounded. :)

PPS: If you've noticed, I've changed a bit. I'm no longer Mrs. Dreamer - that's in no way a reflection of Mr. Realist. I am still happily married to him. But since I'm still my own person, I'm Ms. Dreamer now. I loves my Mr. Realist. He needs to come back here for a snuggle.

PPPS: Mama Nature? GTFO.

7 comments:

  1. B&M days are helpful....

    Welcome to SITS!

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  2. Thanks, Ann! I'm trying to keep up on the commenting. I feel kind of weird commenting on a blog about parenting when I'm not a parent.

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  3. Well, I have to add to your B&M Mondays....

    - My hair straightener blew up (and shot a fire ball out of the end where the cord is) while I was using it

    - My daughter's daycare provider was 10 minutes late, thus making me late for work

    - While trying to contact said daycare provider, my stupid cell phone decides it doesn't want to connect me to anyone living in my area code

    - I come home to a letter from the Indiana Department of Revenue stating we owe an additional $300 in taxes

    S.H.I.T.T.Y. day...I feel your pain. Summer colds are the WORST!!!!

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  4. D - that sucks on the taxes thing; seems like yesterday was NOT our day! :)

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  5. Friggin' stupid mother nature! What a whore!


    I came by to welcome you to SITS! We’re happy to have you with us!

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  6. I hope you're feeling better soon! Wrap up warm and read some blogs ;)

    Visiting to welcome you to SITS :)

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  7. I was stopping by to welcome you to SITS and glad I found you- you crack me up! I, too, got a nasty ick from Mother Nature last week. I'm usually 96.8(no I didn't invert those numbers) and I had a night where I was 102.5. WTH???

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Be safe out there.