Thursday, April 29, 2010

Thursday's Child...

What am I going to do, LDs? I need some serious help. The situation you are about to read may not even come about, but I'm trying to be prepared for it, just in case it does.

Ya see, LDs, Mr Realist's sister Miss Shitass has a learning disability and she's a little slow. Her mom (Mr Realist's aunt) was mentally handicapped. When Miss Shitass was three months old, DCFS stepped in and took Miss Shitass from her mother due to neglect. Mr Realist's mom and stepdad fostered her until she was five, and then adopted her. For all intents and purposes, Miss Shitass is Mr Realist's little sister. She will be 21 in October.

Miss S got pregnant a month after meeting a guy. July 2009: Aubree was born. Miss S has been on some drugs for her moodswings (she's probably bipolar), but she stopped taking them because neither her nor Mr Useless has insurance or a job. Aubree turned nine months old on Monday.

~Miss S and Mr Useless yell at her when she cries. She's nine months old, for fuck's sake!
~Within the last week or two, she's gotten her first taste of table food. At. Nine. Months! If you ask Miss S, it's because the doctor didn't tell her she could. Argh.

I found out yesterday that Miss S and Mr U have had DCFS called on them. Twice. Once by Miss S's 'best' friend for not bathing her in three and four days, along with not changing her clothes; once by Mr U's mom for not feeding her. How does this happen, you ask?

DCFS reports their complaints to WIC and to the Medical Card department. Miss S no longer has either one because of the complaints. MIL called Mr Realist yesterday to let him know of all this, and there's a reason. The way it works, I guess, is that if DCFS has to step in and remove the child from the home, they put with family first. Since Miss S and Mr U aren't married, Miss S's parents are called first. MIL let Mr Realist know that they would tell DCFS that they are unable to care for her (rightly so), but that Miss S's brother and his wife would be able to.

This is exactly how it happened with Miss S when she was removed: her grandmother was called, and since she was unable to care for Miss S, MIL was next in line based on the recommendation of grandmother.

What the fuck do I do? If this does come about, and we go to court and get foster parent custody, what do I do? I only had my niece for a night at a time until she was walking and talking because I'm not the very maternal type. Hell, we've decided we're not having kids, and I'm ecstatic about that. Now there's a possibility that I'll get a ten-month old?

LDs, do you think it fair that if Mr Realist and I raise Aubree until Miss S figures her shit out, I bow out of doing anything for her wedding? This is how I feel right now. It's not going to do them a damn bit of good to get married. That poor baby will just slip through the cracks and become another statistic.

I'm probably getting myself worked up over nothing, but I'm lost and confused and a little more than pissed the fuck off that my life might get turned upside down.

Any and all advice is appreciated.

Heepwah, and be safe out there.

Your thoroughly confused and not remotely ready for forced motherhood,
Mrs Dreamer


  1. A baby can be a difficult adjustment, but its not impossible. People in worse situations do it all the time.

    You can still do everything you're doing now, you'd just have to work around certain things. But think of what you'll be doing. You'd be providing a child with a stable family unit, which is something everyone needs, but few actually get.

  2. I totally understand that you don't want children, and I think it's awesome and incredibly brave that you are totally upfront and honest about what is best for you. I didn't want kids either. Now I can't imagine my life without them. I am SO not saying that forced motherhood is the right choice for you OR the choice you should make. I'm just saying that if you did, it might not end up being the worst thing in the entire world. There is huge satisfaction that can come from creating a great life for a little person. It would be giving up yourself for the betterment of someone else, and that is incredibly powerful. But incredibly overwhelming. I trust that you will do what is best for everyone. That stupid old cliche "if it's meant to be..." is unfortunately very correct sometimes.

    As for them and their wedding, well, excuse my french but fuck them and fuck that. If they can't be decent human beings and do the right thing for the amazing life that they created they don't deserve shit. It truly isn't that hard to be a good person and do right by your children. For example, see: me.

    I love you lady, and if you ever need to talk, you know where to find me!


Be safe out there.