Monday, April 5, 2010

Va. Gi. Na.

*** Warning! If you are easily offended by anatomy and bluntness about sex and porn, please do not continue reading. If you do, and are offended, I take no responsibility for your embarrassment.
That is all. ***

O holy hells, LDs. I was reading an interesting article online minutes ago, and I've been reading the comments since.

Can you say the word 'vagina?' Say it with me.

Glory Hole.

And yes, the list does go on.

Anyway, the link above will take you to the interesting article that Kotex is unable to use the word 'vagina' in a tampon commercial. Nor can they use 'down there.' Are you kidding me? We can talk about erectile disfuntion and poor bladder control, and the side effects of various drugs (part of this was taken from the article and subsequent comments), but we can't use the term vagina? Seriously, half of the world's population has one, and we can't say it? I'm going to start calling people VHs instead of DHs...see who asks what the fuck that means.

I read The Vagina Monologues. It was a fantastic read, and I would not be ashamed to take part in a reading. There is nothing wrong with a vagina. Yes, after puberty, it expels the female's uterine lining to prepare for the next month of possibly accepting a fertilized egg. It is where your partner's penis (but that's not a dirty word?) (or marital aids or dildos) goes for the act of sex (pleasure or baby-making). It's a vagina, for Pete's sake (what about Penny's?).

We can watch porn, but because apparently 'dirty words' are sexier/sluttier, you hear "Fuck my pussy!" rather than "Fuck my vagina!" Of course, if I did hear the words "Fuck my vagina!" in a porn, I think I'd probably piss myself laughing...because it's not expected. (or hearing "Sheath your man-sword in my woman-place." I think I'd die of a laughing aneurysm if I heard that one. Fine in period [not that kind] romance novels, but definitely weird for a porn.)

I really have no clue where that last paragraph came from. *shrugs* O well.

Anyway, if Mr Realist and I were to have kids, I would use the proper terms - vagina and penis - when they started asking questions. I wouldn't shelter them from that. I'd much rather hear vagina or penis than pussy and cock.

Penis. Penis. Penis.
Vagina. Vagina. Vagina.

(if you can name that movie, take five points.)

Vaaaaaaaaaaaa giiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii naaaaaaaaaaaaa!

And if you don't like it, since I don't have a penis, you can suck my muthafuckin vagina!

Heepwah, and be safe out there.

Your vagina-sayin
Mrs Dreamer

PS - rereading this post made me sound like Foster and Mac from "Super Troopers," only here, it's to see how many times I can say the word 'vagina.'

PPS - nineteen times.

PPPS - Vagina. (twenty)

PPPPS - Twenty-one if you count the title.


  1. Okay, if you are ridiculous enough to be offended by hearing the word "vagina" used properly in a tampon commercial, well, maybe you should be watching douche commercials instead. Seriously. It's a part of the anatomy, people! It's not like the commercial is all, hey, shove our cotton up your cooter, it's the best pussy plug you can buy! Although, that would be a highly entertaining commercial.

  2. Oy vey! Talk about a double standard! I just don't get it... it's the appropriate physiological term.

    The person who came up with that 'rule' is probably the same guy who came up with the "Have A Happy Period" campaign for Always.

  3. K - I have never, nor will I ever ask my mumsy "Do you ever get that not-so-fresh feeling?" I think that was one of the dumbest commercials ever. We should write the "pussy plug" commercial! We'd make hundreds! *muah ha ha haaaa*

    Mrs G - I don't think I've ever had a 'happy' period. They all make me want to kill small bunnies with uncontrolled rage...or sob like a faucet. Never happy.

  4. Varsity Blues!
    -Navy Boy


Be safe out there.