Library Update

*Image borrowed from Google; guardian.co.uk

Didn't want to forget :) I have a tendency to do that, ya know.

If you ever want to know authors or what the book's about, just message me.

I love to read. If I could make a profession out of just reading, you damn skippy I'd have a new job!

How are your reading lists coming?

Heepwah, and be safe out there.

Ms D

2011 Book Challenge and some ideas

LDs, I'm doing the 2011 Book Challenge again, so I'll update the Library 2011 tab once a week so that I remember...probably on Sunday nights.

My friend Jen and I went to Ree Drummond's book signing in St Louis on Saturday evening for her new book, "Black Heels to Tractor Wheels." She's so freaking amazing.

She also had some great ideas for blogging. Since I got a camera for my birthday, I'll be taking pictures of projects I'm working on, be they jewelry or knitting or the flowers for my SIL's wedding in August. Just as I'm doing for my fitness, I'm going to try this "blog three days a week" - no matter how asinine it is or complex or even just some random shiz. I feel like I've let you all down. I know y'all love reading me (insert sarcastic comment), and I have readers that aren't followers (if that makes any remote sense whatsofreakingever).

Bear with me, LDs. I need to be more dedicated to things. Maybe I'll inspire you or introduce you to something you've never thought about.

Heepwah, and be safe out there.

Ms D

I'm such a horrible blobber. I never update, I never let you in on my life anymore, and for that, I'm sorry.

However, there's some big shit brewin over here in my little slice of the world, and it ain't pretty. It's all going to come to a head, and someone's going to get ugly and someone's going to get hurt.

J has been one of our best friends for ages. He introduced me to DnD, WoW, good foods, good wines, and some really good friends. He's recently become single because he discovered that his girlfriend had lied to him. Repeatedly. And got caught.

See, he works with the public, protecting and serving. So when he was told that his girlfriend's mother was dead, he thought he'd do a good deed by contacting other family members to see if there was something that she could have of her dead mother, lo and behold, her mother's not dead! On the contrary...she's been looking for her daughter!!

She got pissed off. Like didn't want to know anything about what he found.

She was caught in several other lies; the biggest of which is that her father's not a cocaine drug kingpin like she says. She lied straight to Mr Realist's face on something (I don't remember what it was now), and probably to me as well on many small things.

J had had enough. He put a letter where she would be sure to find it (in a pack of more lies), and she returned to the house. She was to pack her stuff and get out (I don't know time frames, so bear with me). J's upset because he really liked her.

He finds out that she's filed a complaint with the department about him abusing his powers and finding her mother. Here's where I get a bit pissy. If she was telling the truth about her 'dead' mother, I would have been overjoyed to know that I had a chance to get to know my mother again. She files a complaint? What the fuck are you covering, bitch? Didn't like that you got caught in a pretty big fucking lie?

It goes back and forth for a while, and the verdict has come down. Because her manipulative, lying, cunty whore ways, my best friend had to resign from this part of his career.

So, not only did J buy her a laptop computer, a car, and got her mother back, but she took his fucking job away from him? Where do I sign up with a fucking club?

Anyway...she's FB friends with his ex-fiance...and Mr Realist's younger brother. What the fuck, Chuck?! Apparently, she searched him out, and she knew exactly who she was getting into a relationship with.

And you all got another think coming if you expect me to be friends with the cunty whore. Huh-uh. No fucking way. Not on her miserable little life.

Here's the rub: we're apparently supposed to be happy for Younger Brother Realist because he's happy? Huh-uh. No fucking way. He's telling us that we're supposed to look beyond that she has a past, because everyone does.

So we're just supposed to look past the fact that she ruined someone else's life? Wow. Huh-uh. No fucking way. Not on anyone's miserable life.

Here's my prediction for this relationship: they're going to compare pasts - she has Asperger's; he's got Middle Child Syndrome, and it will blossom into lies each bigger than the last - my mother's dead; my dad used to beat me; I've got cancer.

She's supposedly Jewish, and he wants to be a youth minister. Wonder how that's going to work? ;) "My god's better than your god!"

And the fuck if I have to be nice to her. Huh-uh. No fucking way. God himself would have a hard time convincing me to be nice. Ain't gonna happen.

I'm done being nice. And I'm choosing my side.

And no offense to anyone out there, but NO ONE is that fucking clueless. It's just not possible. 2 + 2 = 4. The sky is blue. And cows go Moo.

Fuck really? I'm dumbfounded, flabbergasted, and gobsmacked, all in the same sentence.

Which I thought THAT was never possible.

Apparently, it is!

Heepwah, and be safe out there.

Ms D

Sometimes I Feel...

Good morning/afternoon, LDs. How are you on this fine January day?

I was just going through some of my old notes on Facebook, and I found a fun one from 2009. So here's a letter from me to Austin:

Dear Austin,
Our socks don't match. When I quoted Forrest Gump in your car, all you wanted to do was carve your initials into the elephant in the corner.

I'm open to the idea that you need a sex change (dude, your toe ring and your collection of butterflies kinda give it away). I will always remember the pep talks and telling you that you should stop picking your nose (but obviously it hasn't worked)

Best of luck on the sex change,

Steph


Heepwah, and be safe out there,

Ms D

Naughty naughty...

I've recently been introduced to Ange. Omigod, is she ever funny!

And I think I totally buggered up the Cadbury post, but I don't care. Our Dollar General...

Has. Them. Now.

Mr Realist brought me one home on Tuesday. I love that man.

Anyway, this might be a dirty postie. No, scratch that. It WILL be a dirty postie.

Ange posted (on Hump Day, mind you) the Naughty List.

While I'm also answering the questions Ange asked, I checked up on the blog before me, and the question was: If your husband, boyfriend, partner, mate, or significant other all of a sudden stopped getting you to that euphoric, climactic, happy moment (Ok... Orgasm, for those of you how don't get my wording) would you cheat on him/her, leave that person, or tell him/her that their not cutting the mustard anymore so you can start getting the goods again??

I'd tell Mr Realist (and I have before). Normally it's because we've gotten into a sex routine (same place, same position, same damn time of the week), and it's just not cutting it anymore. It helps. Gotta change it up, yos!

Now, I'm going to ask one of the one following me: Do you ever have to resort to thinking of something else while you're having sex just to get off?

The question Ange asked was: Do you share your deepest kept fantasies with your significant other? Are there any that you are too afraid to share?

Well, I have lots of fantasies, some of them even involving my husband! Mostly, they're kept inside my head. Gives me fodder for when I'm writing a particularly steamy scene. And getting it under a steamy hot shower spray (fantasy or real) just kind of makes me happy in the pants, if you know what I mean *lascivious nod* Maybe if I drop about 60 pounds, some of those fantasies might become reality.

But the question she was asked was: "What, if any, cartoon characters have you crushed on? Don't forget the naughty details!"

If you've read here any length of time, you'll know that I have a 300-ring circus for an imagination (and not because I say so).

So, out in the open air, for all of my readers to think I've gone completely around the bend, are my Top 5 cartoon fantasies (yeah, there's five. Wanna make something of it?)

5. Philip J Fry from Futurama. I have no idea why I think he's sexy. Maybe it's the hair - I have a thing for gingers. Maybe it's the fact that Leela constantly brushes him off. Maybe it's because he's 1000 years in the future and I feel sorry for him.

4. Jacuzzi Splot from Baccano! It's a anime that was only 16 episodes long. He's just...cute. And that's a tattoo on the side of his face so his wannabe-girlfriend Nice (pronounced Neece) wouldn't get made fun of for her scars.

2 & 3. Ryoga Hibiki and Ranma Saotome. Anime from Ranma 1/2. Ranma fell into an ancient spring, and hot water turns him into a girl. Ryoga fell into a similar spring, but he turns into a cute little pig. Ranma is engaged to Akane, says he doesn't love her (but he does); Ryoga is in love with Akane but has no idea how to tell her since she's engaged to Ranma, who happens to be his number one enemy. I think it might have to do with the skill of the artist. Ranma's in blue, Ryoga in gold.

1. (sigh) Dr. Ray Stantz from The Real Ghostbusters. Now, before you give me any grief, I think I actually fell in love with Dan Aykroyd in the original movie. He's just so...wow. So that, in turn, led to the cartoon series, and yet again, a ginger (he's more of an auburn, though). He's like a big kid, which means we fit perfectly together! :) He can PKE meter me any time. :)

A'right, a'right. There. Now you know for sure that your Dreamer has gone around the bend and should probably have a white comfy coat on right now.

However, in the immortal words of Frank Harris, Detective, Cool World PD: "'Noids do not have sex with doodles."

Oh, but to be a doodle...just for a while.

Heepwah, and be safe out there.

Ms D