Stress...

Yanno, I'm starting to stress out here, just a bit. 

Mr Realist is sick. Again.

Here's what kills me--he never, ever got sick this many times prior to them putting him on the Metformin for diabetes.

I'm doing some research on metformin and immune system. So far, nothing I've read is good. Seems like it's depleting his B-12 levels, and that's what's causing him to catch colds so damned easily.

If any of you are diabetic and on metformin and are having the same issue, let me know what you're doing about it, please.

Ms D

PS--it doesn't help that we're on day 21 of no income for Mr Realist. Hopefully he hears back from unemployment today.

Yanno...

If you were able to read my Baby Daddy post a few weeks ago, feel privileged  I've since put it back to drafts - not because I'm ashamed of what I wrote, but for my own piece of mind, I've halted it.

I do miss my friend, but I miss my pupper nephew more. I want to snuggle with Foofer (not his real name) and have him waller all over me, letting me be the Foofer Whisperer. That dog lurves me.

I think I'm more hurt that I can't see him than me not being able to see her. The hurt that I can't see Foofer or Rulo hurts way more than not being able to see T.

Send up a few prayers for us, please. Mr Realist is still unemployed.

Ms D

Prayer

I like to think that God and I have a decent relationship. I may not be a church goer, but I do talk to Him.

Sometimes on a daily basis, sometimes every couple of weeks or so, and sometimes, it's just to say "I'd like to hear you more."

There are some days, like today, where I speak to Him from my heart because I need Him. I need Him to hold my hand and tell me that "I'll help you get through this."

I struggle with life sometimes. Work, bills, things I need to do vs things I want to do.

It's been a hard week so far, Dreamers. If you could offer up a prayer or some good karma or whatever, I would really appreciate it.

Ms D.

Complete Denial

It's going to be a long day...or I hope not. It's not that I'm dreading going in for this ultrasound, but I think it's fear of what they're going to find. 

I actually read over the test request that I have to take in, and I came across a word that I was  unsure of: 'menorrhagia'. I mean, I'd come across it prior to last night in Googling "heavy periods", but I really didn't pay much attention to it.

Holy shit, I wish I would have, and asked about it before now. I guess in the last six months, year or so, it's gotten worse.

(most of you who read my blog, however infrequently I post, are female--meaning you know what periods are like. If yours are normal and bang on, I kinda dislike you. :) )

I looked it up. Dear God, this was ridiculous: (per the Mayo Clinic)

The signs and symptoms of menorrhagia may include:

• Soaking through one or more sanitary pads or tampons every hour for several consecutive hours (Done)
• Needing to use double sanitary protection to control your menstrual flow (Done)
• Needing to wake up to change sanitary protection during the night (Done)
• Bleeding for a week or longer (Not normally, but I have)
• Passing large blood clots with menstrual flow (Done)
• Restricting daily activities due to heavy menstrual flow (Done)
• Symptoms of anemia, such as tiredness, fatigue or shortness of breath (Done)

Well, fuckanolis. If you deal with this, please please please go see your doctor.

I'll let you know how this goes... :P

Ms D

Happy Friday

Or in the case of work, it's Fuck You Friday! Someone pisses you off? Respond with "Fuck You!" (seems to work in a room full of men--it's me and five guys). Makes me feel better!

Anyway, had to go for my yearly today. Blood pressure's still not good, so we're upping the dosage of my metoprolol.

We're also going to look into some sort of birth control for me -- either an iud or the depo shot. See, for the longest time, my cycles were bang-on 28 days. Within the last couple of years, however, they're becoming more and more sporadic. Like few days early...few days late...week early...week late...spotting around ovulation and through to period...spotting between times...it's driving me absolutely batshit crazy.

So next week, I get to go in for a transvaginal ultrasound to see if I'm even a good candidate for an iud. She's also looking for any cysts or endometriosis (?) because I'm a super heavy. Like I'll go through a super tampon in about two hours, so I have to wear back up pads. I don't dare try the divacup (even though that would be awesome), because I'm sure I'd overrun that one. :P I'm glad Mr Realist is off that day so he can go with me.

I had to tell my boss why I'm going to be out for half a day next week while he's at a trade show. He's concerned for me - it's sweet. he's got a wife, so it's not like a period is foreign to him, right? :).

So, Mother Nature? Fuck you.

Ms D

'ello 2013!

Hello out there in interwebz land!

Immabout to make 2013 my year in every sense of the word -- I haven't had a soda since Monday night (partially because I have no pocket money...), and I'm working on some other things. 

I've recently been promoted to the Lead Agent for the Ladies of Z.O.D. (ZOD is a cosplay group that I'm in that stands for Zombification, Orientation, and Defense). Not a single one of us LoZ members are typical model-worthy, but we can kick some zombie ass! Now, because I'm now the Lead Agent, I'm going to start doing some girly things (which I don't normally) to help with the photoshoots and such--need to learn some new hairstyles and makeup applications.

In addition to Lead Agent, I'm also probably going to be heading up the DieselPunk division of LoZ -- Oma made me a steampunk-y skirt for Christmas, and I'm in the middle of designing/having some jewelry made for my costume. Anyone know where to get tiny glass vials or hourglasses or pocket watches that aren't going to cost an arm and a leg?

I'm going to start doing some yoga or stuff to help get myself healthier -- I can't keep eating fast foods all the time.

I'm going to do better on documenting books I've read/projects I'm working on/etc. I'll TRY to remember to post them here...of course, I may link them to my tumblr account as well (seems easier posting there with the pictures and such).

Mr Realist and I got a new camera for Christmas as our joint gift -- wasn't that expensive, either. I'll get to learn to play with it, take it to conventions and stuff. You know - the fun stuff!

Anyway, I'm rambling and have got to get back to work.

Sending loves, and be safe out there.

Ms D

2012 Library - Blown Away

In 2011 and again in 2012, I agreed to do Kristen's Book Challenge. In doing so, I said that I was going to read 75 books in 2012 (down just a bit from 100 in 2011).

I've been keeping track of them on my Kindle, so here goes (in no particular order):

Tawny Taylor - Private Games

Louise Wise - A Proper Charlie

Stephanie Havidad - A Previous Engagement

Naomi Kramer - Dead(ish)

Brenda Hiatt - Rogue's Honor

Alyssa Kress - Marriage by Mistake

Ann Bruce - Rules of Engagment

Lisa Mondello - Nothing But Trouble

Stacey Joey Netzel - Holding out for a Hero

Rhonda Nelson - Double Dare

Chrissy Olinger - My Boyfriend's Back

Stina Leicht - Of Blood and Honor

Juliette Sobanel - Kissed in Paris

Karen Cartwell - Foxy's Tale

Marianne Stephens - Second Sight Dating

? (can't read it) - For Love of Livvy

Kathleen Brooks - Bluegrass State of Mind

Judy Jarvis - Nanny Behaving Badly

Heather Horrocks (?) - Bah, Humbug!

Carol Grace - Mail-Order Millionaire

Rober DeCoteau - Zombie Tales

Chari ? - Haunted New York City

Rachel Corbett - A Killing In Iowa

Willow Cross - Haunted

? - Night Stalks the Mansion

CL Bevill - Bubba and the Dead Woman

Janice Thompson - Fools Rush In

Natasha ? - Quiet River

Rose Gordon - Intentions of the Earl

Debra Webb - Keeping Kennedy

MaryJanice Davidson - Me, Myself, and Why?

Karen Whiddon - Powerful Magic

Michael West - Poseidon's Children

Danny Gillan - Scratch

Shelli Stevens - Dangerous Ground

Leigh Michaels - The Mistress' House

Christy Hayes - Dodge the Bullet

Nancy ? - The Eighth Sea

Ameilia Grey - Never a Bride

Caroline Hanson - Bewitching the Warlock

Stephanie Rowe - Kiss At Your Own Risk

Ruby Storm - Keeper of the Spirit

Sarah Wood? - Daughter of Time

Julia Crane - Coexist

Marissa Frrar - Alone

Megg J? - Sleepers

Cheryl Bolen - Lady Sophia's Rescue

R. William Rogers - Toward a New Beginning

Jason Tesar - The Awakened

Deanna Chase - Haunted on Bourbon street

Vicki Lewis Thompson - Already Home

EA Beard - The Emerald City

Caitlyn Duffy - The Rock Star's Daughter

Pamela Glaze - Sweet Release

Elise Marion - My Ex-Wife's Wedding

Christie Craig - Divorced, Desperate, and Delicious

Mandy Rosco - The Princess' Dragon Lord

JR Rain - Dark Hourse

Jana DeLeon - Trouble in Mudbug

Kathleen Mor? - Child of the Mist

Darcia Helle - Enemies and Playmates

JR Rain - Moon Dance

Sharon Gillenwater - Jenna's Cowboy

Brenda Jackson - Irresistible Forces

The Incredible Story of Rookie Roller Derby Queen Cindy McCoy

Tony Bertauski - The Annihilation of Foreverland

Mary Campisi - A Family Affair

Kathryin Leve? - The Gorgon

Katri Cardew - Not Really Mr Smith

Chanda Hahn - UnEnchanted

Elizabeth Hunter - A Hidden Fire

Dahlia Lu - The Dark God's Brides

Chanda Hahn - Fiarest

Marta Perry - Hide in Plain Sight

Christine Merril - The Inconvenient Duchess

Darcy Br? - Her Wicked Ways

Lorena McCourtney - Invisible

Dominique Adair - Seducing Jane Porter

KJ Pullen - The Marriage Pact

Monique Martin - Out of Time

Zack Mason - Shift

Jennifer Skully - She's Gonna Be Mine

Tina Folsom - A Touch of Greek

? - Time Masters

HP Mallory - Fire Burn and Cauldron Bubble

Liliana Hart - Dane

Karen Kay - Lakota Surrender

Elisabeth Naughton - Stolen Fury

Abby Gaines - Married by Mistake

Christie Craig - Shut Up and Kiss Me

MD James - The Billionaire of Aspen Estates

Skye Warren - Beauty touched the Beast

Sable Jordan - Shaken n Stirred

Bob McElwain - Free to Die

Cynthia Wicklund - In the Garden of Temptation

Edie Clarke - Never Buried

ZL Arkadia - The Seventh Sister

GP Ching - Soulkeepers

Cynthia Leitich - Haunted Love

JR Barrett/Barnett - Beauty and the Feast

Elizabeth Marshall - When Fate Dictates

Jasinda Wilder - Big Girls Do It Wilder

Andrew E Kaufman - The Lion The Lamb The Hunted

Elaine Mercado - Grave's End

Lucinda Brant - Midnight Marriage

Jennifer St Giles - Mistress Trevelyan

Stephanie Bond - Voodoo or Die

Jennifer Coburn - The Queen Gene

Emma Lee-Potter - School Ties

Sandi Krawchenko ? - Ravenscraig

Vivi Andrews - The Ghost Exterminator: A Love Story

? - Princess Paisley

Barbara Freethy - A Secret Wish

? - Everflame

Deborah Cooke - Double Trouble

Harriet Sebutz - Lust and Honor

Penelope King - Witchy,  Witchy

Kristie Cook - Promise

Cynthia Ruchti - They Almost Always Come Home

J Flores - Stories from a Teacher

PT Michelle - Brightest Kind of Darkness

Miriam Minger - Twin Passions

Debby Conrad - Love, Lies, and High Heels

Kris Pearson - The Boat Builder's Bed

Heather Graham - The Gatekeepers

Belinda Boring - The Mystic Wolves

Kate Perry - Playing for Keeps

Heather MacAllister - Haunted Spouse

Shelly Crane - Collide

Gabriel ? - Dark Creations

Connie Mason - The Last Rogue

Leigh Greenwood - Pete

Kate Perry - Return To You

Dee Carney - Open Door Invitation

Mira Lyn Kelly - Waking Up Married

Elizabeth Sherry - Under the Aspens

Christina Tetreault - The Teacher's Billionaire

Claudy Conn - Runaway Heart

Rachel Astor - Bridemaid Lotto

Cali MacKay - The Highlander's Hope

Reeni Austin - Fresh Temptation

Danelle Harmon - The Wild One

Patricia Ryan - Hale's Point

Mandy M Roth - King, King, Goose?

KR Smith - Claimed

Anya Bast - OtherKin Fury

Kristen Ashley - Motorcycle Man

Alice Clayton - The Unidentified Redhead

Julia Crane - Consumed

Holy fuckanolis...that's 149 books!! I blew away my goal for the year...and I've only had my Kindle since February (gotta love free Kindle books). This is NOT counting the physical books that I read in 2012, of which I did not keep a list (they're all still at my bedside, though).

I'm definitely going to go back through and correct any spellings and unreadable names (can't reupload at work...boo).

Here's hoping that she does it again this year (of course, I'll keep better track - linking and such) :)

Ms D