"Since the invention of the kiss, there have been five kisses that were rated the most passionate, the most pure. This one left them all behind." ~~The Princess Bride
Realist and I have 'date night' every so often. Sometimes we go out and get food; most times, we make dinner together and watch a movie. Tonight was 'date night.' We had hot dogs and chips and had our own little picnic in the living room and watched a movie. As much as I love movies, there are probably only 15 or so that I could watch every day for the rest of my life. The Princess Bride is up there in the top five. I've loved that movie since the first time I saw it. 2008 was the 20th Anniversary of Princess Bride, meaning I was ten when it came out. The music is superb, and I've always been in love with the romantic aspect of knights and princes, castles and, even though they don't exist, dragons. Westley is the quintessential love - he's handsome and charming, dashing and utterly dedicated to only one woman. Buttercup saw through his only being a farm boy and fell in love with the man inside. I think ultimately that every man wants to be like Westley - thwarting evildoers to rescue his true love; and every woman wants to be Buttercup - never doubting that her true love will come to rescue her.
Realist and I are the same way. THE question had been asked three times in our lives together. One came two years after we had been dating...I had to say no. I wasn't ready. I was a junior in college and STILL undecided as to where my life was going to go. I didn't want to say yes and have to break his heart. I knew what that felt like. Two came a little over a year after that. The question came from my own lips...he said no. He had just moved out on his own and I was still not finished with school.
In March of 2002, we broke up as a mutual decision. We both agreed that we needed some time apart. To me, my life was over. I knew he was the one I wanted to be with. However, he initiated the split, and I went along with it because I knew it was what he wanted. Months passed. We tried to stay friends (I was his 'friend with benefits'...sigh), but when I was going out with my friends, he always warned me to be careful and that he was thinking about me. This was my life, not his anymore. Friends from college got married - Realist was a groomsman, and I was invited along as his guest (Nick did not know that we weren't together at that point, and he felt bad when we actually got to talk at the reception). I drove from school (where I was in a Summer Rep production of 'School House Rock LIVE!) to the wedding at 2 in the afternoon...drove back to school for the Saturday 7pm performance, then BACK to the reception (where Lunchboxes and beers were flowing merrily). I stayed with him that night, only to get up early, shower and head back to campus for the Sunday matinee. The next weekend, I drove up to see him at his apartment. We had a good weekend. Sunday morning, I woke to find him snuggling against my back. He hadn't done that since we were together - it was weird. I rolled over to look at him and found him looking upset. "I can't do this anymore. I miss you." "I miss you, too." He reached behind him and I thought he was getting his glasses. I was wrong.
He gripped my left hand with his right, and the only thing he said was, "Marry me."
"HUH?" came tumbling out of my mouth before I could react. "Are you serious?" He nodded.
"Be my wife." (Any girl who doesn't cry, or even tear up, when she is literally surprised with THE question should be tarred and feathered)
A simple gold band was all he had at that time, and that was my first engagement ring. He even told me that Friday at work, he was organizing some of the lost and found stuff at work because they were slow, and he came across a ring while working and thinking of me. Karma, apparently, because it MADE him realize that I was the one he wanted for the rest of his life. Engaged in 2002, married in 2005, and looking forward to the future.
I gave you that background and my thoughts on The Princess Bride for this reason, and this is how I feel about marriage:
If you are married and can look at your partner (and your partner at you) and it makes your heart truly ache to think of life without them, I think you'll be fine. It's not that I couldn't live without him, I could. I just don't want to. Tell them you love them - I'll never get tired of Realist saying those three little words.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go say them again.
Be safe out there.
Steph the Dreamer