When I was young, I looked up to you for some things; others, I despised you for. You were always there, cheering me on at soccer games and basketball games. You'd help me with projects (remember the papier-mache mask that we made that morning before school, while you were trying to get ready for work?), and you explained that stupid girl thing. I despised you for staying with him so long; for letting him beat the shit out of me; for hearing me but not listening to the words.
As I grew older but still in school and had to move away from you (you don't know that C saved my life one night the summer before I left), I loved you because you were my mumsy, but I was so glad to be away from the heartbreak and neglect that you put us through. I flourished without you, and I know it had to break your heart sometimes when you weren't half in a bottle that neither one of your children were there with you. And there were times I know that you were glad to just be you while others shouldered your responsibility. It was hard sometimes, trying to explain why I lived with my aunt and uncle instead of my mum. Other times, not so much.
But as I look back on those times, at who I am today, and what I had to go through to get here, I have to smile. Because for as bad as we had it, I'm a better person. I have suceeded - I graduated high school...then college...I got married and have a house and cars and pets and a husband who loves me dearly. As I've gotten older, I find that more people understand what I went through because they had something similar. And there is a friend from high school who's wife went through my life, only hers. I'd like to meet her and compare war stories.
However, I have you for one of my best friends. We can argue and discuss and bitch and moan and laugh and cry and read and talk and go crazy or do nothing. We can talk every day or not at all for several weeks, and nothing changes. We're still us. And I'm grateful.
You are my mumsy, Mom, Mommy, Mum, Mother.
Happy Mother's Day.
I love you, Mumsy Dreamer