I'll give you this disclaimer. It might be disjointed, and you might need an explanation (and I'll give you one if I have one), but this is how I dream:
** Mr Realist and I had a discussion last night. I'd been invited to dinner by a friend from high school that I haven't seen in more than ten years (and yes, it's a guy). I'm going, but Mr Realist wasn't invited. E is in Decatur for the next six weeks working on a job (he's a pipeliner), and he just wants to catch up. E is married. Mr Realist wasn't too thrilled that he wasn't invited. The last time we did something with a friend from high school, it was incredibly awkward, and they both felt left out because I was trying to keep them both included, and it wasn't working because they had nothing in common. Before you tell me that I shouldn't be going at all, know this: friends from high school who have made the effort to keep in touch or get back in touch deserve communication. And if they're close enough, dinner or lunch or coffee is what we do. I'm not an idiot.
~~
Sitting at the restaurant (mind you, it's in the town. I. Live. In. It's not like I'm going to a hotel bar...sheesh), E and I are laughing about something stupid someone did in hs when Mr Realist and a friend comes in. They're seated across the room, and Mr Realist keeps staring...until I notice him. He comes over.
me: "You followed me?"
him: "You were the one who told me where you were going. That's your fault."
me: "I was right. You don't trust me."
him: "Well, you are a passionate woman and you said you had a thing for him in high school."
me: "Are you serious? You could go out after work with the girls to the bar, especially when Tits was still there, and she hit all over you and I trusted you and I was just supposed to be ok with it?! I didn't follow you - I just called to see when you would be home. Oh, and I was just supposed to be ok when you drove home fucking drunk, and you thought it was funny? Fuck this."
And that's all I remembered when I woke up this morning.
Not pleasant, I know. But it's a dreamlet.
As I do this, I might include notes of stories that I'm working on.
What are you dreaming about?
Heepwah, and be safe out there
Ms D
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Dreamlets
I've been pondering this one, LDs. And I think I'm going to have to document. For the next week, when I wake up, I'll write down what I remember dreaming about.
This should give you insight to what I mean by the "300-ring circus of my imagination."
That is all.
Heepwah, and be safe out there.
Ms Dreamer
Bitch and Moan Monday...FUCK!
I love having friends. I love having dinner with friends. I hate staying up late to do a blog postie. So it's technically Tuesday, but you're getting my B&M Monday. Don't like it? Fuck off! :) And this one's going to be a fuck-filled journey. Climb in, sit down, shut up, and hang on!
Like Kisha, I generally try to be a happy person, and I uber-hate confrontations. But sometimes rainbows and fucking glitter have to take a backseat to fire and brimstone and the half-evil side of me coming out (Mr Realist thinks I need a 333 tattoo). It's why I'mromantically involved with Kisha's B&M Monday. I save up some nuggets of brimstone and tongues of flame, and let them all go on Mondays. It's a perfect fucking day to bitch. Mondays suck most of the time.
~~
I'll tell you something, LDs. I got to see Lady Fuckin Gaga on Saturday night in the Loo. Free bitch did a fabu job of popping my cherry.
My concert cherry, that is.
Yes, your Ms Dreamer had NEVER been to a concert before. She was worth the monies spent on the ticket. And because Kate and I are nice people, we scored some free SWAG. Be jealous, LDs. I ruled the weekend.
"But why is this going in Bitch and Moan Monday, Ms D?" I'll tell you why, LDs.
Because people are fucking rude and inconsiderate and need to be hit in the head with a hammer.
First off, it's one thing if your mom wants to go see Lady Fuckin Gaga with you; more power if she's old and wrinkly and grey haired. You get infinite cool points for that.
But you get your infinite cool points yanked the fuck away and kicked in the cuzif (thanks, B) when you take your FIVE YEAR OLD DAUGHTER to the same. fucking. show.
*bangs head against desk* Are you serious? We were on the floor, standing room only, people pushing and shoving and grabbing asses and beers were a'plenty and you think it's a good idea to bring your five year old? Dude, go jump off a fucking bridge. You. Are. An. Idiot.
Especially when the opening act is Semi Precious Weapons and hottie Justin's (lead singer with the fuck-me custom Stuart Weitzman boots that I so got to touch...*squee*) first line is "I can't pay my rent, but I'm fucking gorgeous!" and it's loud as fuck, and even with the earplugs, she's holding her hands over her ears. You. Are. An. Idiot. And I don't care if parents who read this disagree with me. I would never never never take a five year old to a concert unless it was the fucking Wiggles.
Sigh. Then...then...THEN...
In between SPW and Lady Fuckin Gaga, two skinny bitches (sorry if you are one; I'm a heavy-duty beauty, LDs) tried to worm their way up towards the front. Big girl #1 lit up like a siren:
"O hell no! You didn't come from up there, you're not getting in up there! You can go fucking stand in the back. We've all been here for three hours (note: it was more like an hour) and you can fuck off."
Skinny bitches: "But our friends are up there and we don't want to stand back here by ourselves."
BG#1: "you should have fucking thought about that before coming late. You want up there? You'd better go the fuck around and find some other dumb ass to let you in." (this went on for about two minutes. BG#1 was about to start raining down some big bitch fire when the security guard stepped over)
"What's going on?" BG#1 proceeded to let him know in no uncertain terms that the SBs were not cutting in front of her or anyone else around her (BG#2 and myself just smiled at the SBs like "Ain't no fuckin way."); BG#1's boyfriend/husband said they'd stepped on his feet and was pissed.
Security guard tells SBs to get back to the back; if they weren't there before, we didn't have to let them in.
It. Was. AWESOME!
After that, everything was golden. Had a blast, got $60 worth of free SWAG, and left happy, tired, and footsore.
~~
So, I still need prayers. Haven't heard anything from the camp.
What's got you Bitching and Moaning? Some dumbass scuff your brand new shoes? Kidlets having night terrors? Or is your life just fucking peachy?
Let us know, LDs.
Eb, I'll get to 'dreamlets' either tomorrow or Friday.
Heepwah, and be safe out there.
Ms Dreamer
Like Kisha, I generally try to be a happy person, and I uber-hate confrontations. But sometimes rainbows and fucking glitter have to take a backseat to fire and brimstone and the half-evil side of me coming out (Mr Realist thinks I need a 333 tattoo). It's why I'm
~~
I'll tell you something, LDs. I got to see Lady Fuckin Gaga on Saturday night in the Loo. Free bitch did a fabu job of popping my cherry.
My concert cherry, that is.
Yes, your Ms Dreamer had NEVER been to a concert before. She was worth the monies spent on the ticket. And because Kate and I are nice people, we scored some free SWAG. Be jealous, LDs. I ruled the weekend.
"But why is this going in Bitch and Moan Monday, Ms D?" I'll tell you why, LDs.
Because people are fucking rude and inconsiderate and need to be hit in the head with a hammer.
First off, it's one thing if your mom wants to go see Lady Fuckin Gaga with you; more power if she's old and wrinkly and grey haired. You get infinite cool points for that.
But you get your infinite cool points yanked the fuck away and kicked in the cuzif (thanks, B) when you take your FIVE YEAR OLD DAUGHTER to the same. fucking. show.
*bangs head against desk* Are you serious? We were on the floor, standing room only, people pushing and shoving and grabbing asses and beers were a'plenty and you think it's a good idea to bring your five year old? Dude, go jump off a fucking bridge. You. Are. An. Idiot.
Especially when the opening act is Semi Precious Weapons and hottie Justin's (lead singer with the fuck-me custom Stuart Weitzman boots that I so got to touch...*squee*) first line is "I can't pay my rent, but I'm fucking gorgeous!" and it's loud as fuck, and even with the earplugs, she's holding her hands over her ears. You. Are. An. Idiot. And I don't care if parents who read this disagree with me. I would never never never take a five year old to a concert unless it was the fucking Wiggles.
Sigh. Then...then...THEN...
In between SPW and Lady Fuckin Gaga, two skinny bitches (sorry if you are one; I'm a heavy-duty beauty, LDs) tried to worm their way up towards the front. Big girl #1 lit up like a siren:
"O hell no! You didn't come from up there, you're not getting in up there! You can go fucking stand in the back. We've all been here for three hours (note: it was more like an hour) and you can fuck off."
Skinny bitches: "But our friends are up there and we don't want to stand back here by ourselves."
BG#1: "you should have fucking thought about that before coming late. You want up there? You'd better go the fuck around and find some other dumb ass to let you in." (this went on for about two minutes. BG#1 was about to start raining down some big bitch fire when the security guard stepped over)
"What's going on?" BG#1 proceeded to let him know in no uncertain terms that the SBs were not cutting in front of her or anyone else around her (BG#2 and myself just smiled at the SBs like "Ain't no fuckin way."); BG#1's boyfriend/husband said they'd stepped on his feet and was pissed.
Security guard tells SBs to get back to the back; if they weren't there before, we didn't have to let them in.
It. Was. AWESOME!
After that, everything was golden. Had a blast, got $60 worth of free SWAG, and left happy, tired, and footsore.
~~
So, I still need prayers. Haven't heard anything from the camp.
What's got you Bitching and Moaning? Some dumbass scuff your brand new shoes? Kidlets having night terrors? Or is your life just fucking peachy?
Let us know, LDs.
Eb, I'll get to 'dreamlets' either tomorrow or Friday.
Heepwah, and be safe out there.
Ms Dreamer
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
DOH!
LDs, I have a hard time coming up with posties. Like I said in the previous one, I seem to lean toward the bitchy side. I'm not always like that, and I'm vowing to spend more time looking at the positive.
Of course, I still like the word-association posties. And I put it out on my Facebook to give me one word ideas for posties. The following is what I received:
Speck: such as?
Hack: chickenisgood
Ms D (that's me!): @Speck - whatever; @Hack - technically, that IS one word... :)
Rob: flubbergooten
Hack: YES, it is 1 word :)
Eb: dreamlets, unless you've used that already
Speck: CLOACA! or......PAAAANCAAAKES!!
Ms D: :)
Author: drunkenakedness. ...or poolparties. They go hand in hand.
Speck: fuhjayjaytwinkles!! {this could go on forever...Lol}
Ando: Kriegspielen
NB: shitstorm, clusterfuck, orgy, gangbang, 3sum, asssex, uhm, alrightythen, douchbag, fuckstick, peckertrack, condom, remote, vibrator, dildo, lube, safesex, NCIS. Is that enough? I have more.
Rob: who knew the english language was so full...lol
Speck: Wait everyone, I've got it. "PICKLESMOKER"!! I heard that one on 105.7 the point radio station while driving home from work in St. Louis one day that I've come to refer to as the "men are assholes and love is a carnival trick" phase of my life, lol. I thought it was hilarious! That, or one from my scientifically cognisant but funny-sounding arsenal--"spandrel" :):)
Ando: Speck, sorry to spoil the mood, but NB, you missed "fuck-ass" ("Oh please tell me, Elizabeth, how exactly does one suck a fuck?") Ms D, please, please forgive....
"Samantha: when can I squeeze one out?
Donnie: not until eighth grade"
NB: Damnit!! Wait, that's another. lol
The Rube: goatroper that is all
Mr Realist: for Speck - RATFUCKER!
Author: Hey, in my defense-that rat was pretty hot.
Speck: they do serve rat...... :)
Can you see where my wonderful friends take such serious questions? :) So I posted: Ms D is now kicking herself for allowing her friends to run rampant with single word association... *smacks palm of hand to forehead* The responses?
Rob: Careful what u ask for
Speck: but you love us for our imaginative, albeit vulgar, but HILARIOUS contributions! :) you have lots to pick from now!
Ando: Ifn ye open a door, be prepared for whatever might come a'waltzin in. (Esp. considering the multi-variegated psychoses and neuroses among your friends [I hope to think mine are only neuroses]. Hope you regard my verbiage only kindly, and that you are well, ;).
NB: You asked for it Mrssy
Hack: here's a great blog word for you now "DOH" :)
Ms D: @Ando - I actually loved it. And all of my friends have various psychoses and neuroses. That's why I call them friends!; @Hack: I think that will actually be the title of the post!
Hack: haha I win. eat it sukkas :)
You know...it was kind of fun, but I'm going to have to use Eb's one from the original: dreamlets
Be eagerly anticipating my next postie, LDs. Because I love you all.
And you need some imagination.
And I still need prayers.
Heepwah, and be safe out there.
Your dreaming
Ms Dreamer
PS: and if you get the line reference, let me know, and I'll dedicate a postie to you. You can only enter if you didn't weigh in on the FB status!
Positive...
Mr Realist said something to me last night that I've been bandying about in my brain most of the day.
"When something comes up, you automatically go to the worst possible scenario."
Yeah...so I'm not disappointed when it does happen, and if it doesn't, it makes it that much sweeter.
But he's got a point. I think if I could open my head and put a lump of coal in there, in about three days, I'd have the Hope Diamond.
So. I'm trying to make more happy posts. I've noticed that I'm pretty reliable when it comes to Bitch and Moan Monday, but not so much any other time. I'm formulating a plan here, LDs. Next postie?
"DOH!"
And it's funny. Or it'll make you groan out loud.
At least, I think it is and will.
Just you wait.
Heepwah, and be safe out there.
One more day
Ms Dreamer
"When something comes up, you automatically go to the worst possible scenario."
Yeah...so I'm not disappointed when it does happen, and if it doesn't, it makes it that much sweeter.
But he's got a point. I think if I could open my head and put a lump of coal in there, in about three days, I'd have the Hope Diamond.
So. I'm trying to make more happy posts. I've noticed that I'm pretty reliable when it comes to Bitch and Moan Monday, but not so much any other time. I'm formulating a plan here, LDs. Next postie?
"DOH!"
And it's funny. Or it'll make you groan out loud.
At least, I think it is and will.
Just you wait.
Heepwah, and be safe out there.
One more day
Ms Dreamer
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